I didn’t feel driven to him. He has magic that makes you fall for him. He makes me laugh and smile like no one does. He listens to me, cooks, and shares many things I cannot even count. I feel happy when I see a text message from him. Like a kid, my heart is filled with joy when I see him.
I didn’t realize how much he meant to me until I saw his other side. The ugly side of him, but not with me. I don’t know why I wasn’t surprised. Maybe a part of me believed that as kind as he is to me, he can be as ugly as he has been.
Why am I allowing myself to make the same mistake again?
Am I that desperate for love?
Running in the same empty loop is killing me. When will I be able to stop?
Is he part of me now?
Will I ever take control of my life?
I felt sorry for myself because I surrendered to him, to the same old lies I was running from. All because I don’t want to be alone.
I put my heart, fate, and, most importantly, myself in his hands. He controlled me, treating me as his slave. At that moment, I felt I deserved what happened.
But he is about to see my true colours. I told him with a smile, “I ain’t no angel.”, then walked away.

 

7 Comments

  • NAILA ZAFAR says:

    Absolutely beautiful writing. These thoughts are real and cross all genders. We all can relate, learn and move forward to the best of our ability. Thank you for putting these thoughts into words.

  • Bruna Mersa says:

    I’ve been surfing on the internet for more than 2 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s alluringly worth it for me.

  • Jaime Lee Rolland says:

    Wow. Such powerful words. It reminds me of my past relationship! I agree with Naila’s comment above, this is sooo relatable!!

  • Bahjat Mahmood says:

    Extraordinary powerful words, big incorporation of your thoughts and it’s all factual.. so inspiring my friend! Love it.

  • Mustafa says:

    Beautifully put. Only the strong willed take a stand and walk away when needed.

  • Jonas P. says:

    Beautiful writing… Wonderful thoughts…

  • Cheryle E says:

    Empowering and raw, a journey from vulnerability to strength. ‘I ain’t no angel…’ captures the essence of reclaiming power. Truly inspiring.

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